By Ken Burdick
Yes folks it's true,
Sources tell us that one time premiere speed and racing competitor Mike
Hazel has sunk lower than a body in the Hudson River.
Sure, Whale attacks and selling blubber oil on the internet is one thing, posing as a stunt flyer and even that Ninja thing, but this has gone too far.
In an article entitled Her royal highness defends Beavers , Mike goes on to state displeasure as expressed by the Queen of England at the obviously true statements regarding the species and habits of the Beaver.
Our source shows clearly how the vowels are pronounced flatly in typical Oregonian dialect.
While the HRH would certainly show the Lancashire accent
Here is an example, below is a direct quote from Mike.
"We would also advise that our beaver henceforth be referred to as a semi aquatic mammal, NOT some filthy rodent"
I may not be a linguistics expert, but obviously there is no raising intonation amongst the vowels.
Grammar is yet another missing strand in this devious web
of a Beaver Dam.
The real Queen of England would not beat around the bush with hints and innuendos.
"They do so tend to attract foreigners! " wow..it's like she can't speak, what was the thinking?
Caught like a Trout in a fishnet of tall tales, the final error came in the form of misinformation.
As any school child knows, beavers are in fact a semi aquatic rodent not a mammal, the Queen would know this, she is seen here inspecting a local beaver dam proving she knows her stuff.
Like someone said, "look for the one who profits" and in this case dear readers, it's the Beavers.
Make no Mistake, they are ALL in on this, it's just that they somehow put Mikie up to doing this.
Maybe he drew the short straw, possibly the Alien did his mind melding thing. It's of little matter though, the Beavers will have to answer to the Bod Busters at the Bladder Grabber.
Anyone who misses this one is just not with the program!
-- Kenny-B and The bod Busters.
This page was upated Aug. 11, 2008