Broadway Bod Busters

Combat Spoken here

By Ken Burdick

Yes Folks, it's true.

Combat flyers have their own particular jargon not unlike professional basketball players, football players and yes, hard-core Barbie doll collectors.

Generally you'll find the type A personality lurking just under the surface ready to go Donald Duck at any given moment. Mostly you can hear it in the first word uttered by a typical combat flyer in any discussion. That word is "NO."

Examples of this could be;

"No, you don't understand," "No, that's not what I meant," "NO, I think it should be ..."

Other contemporary phrases are "NO way!" the ever popular "No, I know, I know." And the short and to the point, "NO!"

With such limited vocabulary, you would think that combat fliers have a difficult time communicating, not the case. Some have refined it to an art form of NO-ing in great detail.

A typical conversation between two combat fliers might be:

"I think you should move your pit area over there."
"NO, YOU should move over to there."

"Didn't you see that I had killed you before you ran into me?!"

To further emphasize true flexibility in expression, I have a recent conversation between myself and a world champion F2D flyer who wishes to remain anonymous so I won't print his last name. Some translation is in order to get the full effect.

Mike: Would you like to come and participate in my flying clinic in Phoenix November 15 & 16?  Everyone is invited just bring some F2d Planes!
Translation: I'm making fun of your combat clinic, and I'm gonna kick everyone's butt.

Ken: Why yes!.....I think I may do just that. Since it's your clinic, I assume that I can safely say that you'll be paying the entry fees.
Translation: We'll see about that, you buying the beer?

Mike: No it's not a free clinic! Guys from your area might have to pay extra.
Translation: You guys suck, bring your own beer.

Ken: Hey, I know of a good motel there if you need one.
Translation: Payback for flea-bag you suggested in Houston.

Mike: Thanks, but we are going to camp at the site. You interested in camping with us? We have a three-man tent, and there are only four of us so far.
Translation: We're staying in a motel, you go camping and get robbed by Hobos.

Ken: Sounds like being homeless ... a new experience! Let me get back to you on that one as Jeff has ... how you say this delicately ... gastro issues when he eats Tex-Mex, I can send him. Have you considered what you will say when the police arrive for unauthorized camping? I'd like a video if you can manage it.
Translation: We're armed and dangerous; I'm calling the cops if you camp out there.

Mike: We put in for a permit, so we should be okay.
Translation: If the cops show I'll know it was you.

Ken: Good idea! I'll let Steve Stewart know, he likes to sing campfire songs. I haven't been to this site myself, is it remote enough to night fly?
Translation: I can night fly, can you?

Mike: Yeah. It's a nice site. Not far from the airport so that makes it nice.
Translation: No, go ahead and night fly, I'll call airport security who will arrest you.

No wonder combat fliers have more fun.

-- Kenny-b and the Bod Busters


This page was upated Nov. 6, 2008

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